i found this today..and it was pretty amazing..so i thought i would share.

Please pray for me..my head is spinning and i'm falling into all the stress.
i had another bad dream about fine arts..its pretty crazy.
Also pray for Alex Skipper..she is having surgery today..and me and the guys are meeting today to try to work out worship team...because i can NOT sing what she sang.

i'm kinda sick of peoples thoughts and "advice" with all my fine arts stuff..

just kinda sick of people making me feel like crap with their "advice".

i'm kinda sick of being stress out..and i'm starting to break-out.

i'm kinda sick of school...

I'm kinda sick of him not knowing...and it hasn't even been a week!

I'm kinda sick of not knowing where we are going instead of south carolina.

I'm kinda sick of hearing this fly flying around...
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I'm kinda happy that fine arts is here...

i'm kinda happy that i can think about fine arts instead of other things..

I'm kinda glad that i'm almost done with school....

I'm kinda glad i know even if he doesn't....

I'm kinda glad that we are going somewhere different than SC.

I'm kinda glad that its hot outside so we can have the back door open so flys can come in.

i'll update later...

because i'm still trying to understand everything thing that has happened.

lets just say some very life changing things..
and i think the most amazing thing is that no one told me..i finally heard him by myself. It just proves that if you really want to hear God that you really have to listen and you have to feel TOTAL freedom.

oh my body aches..

practice was Really hard last night. The whole practice was uncalled for..it was top 2 with the worst practices ever that i have had. Alan lane and me just could not fall right and i kept on hurting my lower back and my wrist. alot of thoughts were going on and to me it just felt like the team wanted one thing and the leaders wanted another..and since i was sooo pms-ing and i was not in a good mood anyways i cried. well it was better for me to cry then to scream at someone or a leader..so i cry.

Matt wooten is going to play for me for my solo..i'm happy.
so i have a little relief on all the fine arts pressure...i'm hoping to tackle my short sermon tomorrow or maybe next week.

i get to see courtney tomorrow..so i am happy. well sad too..since she is leaving.
But with courtney she doesn't care so i can go and talk about anything i need to and it slides right of her back. She offers her advice and most of the time it helps. So hopefully we will have fun and make a memory before she leaves. I will miss her though..i always knew that she would leave...and i'm happy for her though. She's moving on and making her name known and sharing her amazing talent with the world. i just hope when i leave for new york or LA that people will be proud of me too..and that they will actually miss me, But that they support me with all their hearts. i think about the future....and i hope i can make a name for myself. Modeling has been an interest lately..and i'm pretty set on trying out for Americas next top model just to see what they have to say. when they tell me no i'll go to college somewhere around and get my Fashion Degree and hopefully i can start out as a fashion Buyer. But my goal is to become a fashion stylist..and i then i can have the money and the resources to do all my other dreams. Sing, act, model, and be a photographer. I just hope God starts opening some doors soon...because the sooner i start in the fashion world the more time i'll have to Speak his name through modest by glamours clothing.

why is it so fine..?

Fine arts is at the end of february..

and my head is spinning.

i have a female vocal solo that i don't even have a cd for and i might get matt wooten to play for me instead.
i have a short sermon that i haven't even started on..i just have the theme for it..
i just haven't had the time to sit and try to type it out..

and the only solo thing that i am almost done with is my solo human video...
which i'm not allowing any of the leaders see it...tabbie saw some of it..and then i noticed she was there..lol.

but large human video is bookin right along..and i even have practice tonight.
tomorrow i have to practice my solo human video before church and then i have church.
thursday i am going to go get some stuff for friday and then i'm going to say my goodbyes to dear ol' courtney acker since she is moving back home with her mother and i won't see her for a very very very long time.
THEN on friday i have a hair appointment at leah's at 4 then i shall go with becky and adam to the church for the lady N waiting thing.
and then me and tiffany and travis and brandon gardner are going to the car show on saturday.
sunday church and worship team practice
and then next week i will go get my hair cut and dyed back again.


and on top of all of this i still have to fit school into all of this.
WHOO.
stressfull.